"I want to feel better" is what brings most people to therapy. Something is happening in their lives which is distressingly uncomfortable to bear.
"Talking to a therapist could help", but there are so many, how do you choose? But somehow you choose, and you find yourself sitting with someone and telling them all about your life.
It starts to dawn on you that the anxiety or depression or guilt or shame or pain or compulsion (or whatever symptom) you deal with, is intricately interconnected with the rest of your mind and life.
You start to gain some strategies around managing or reducing the intensity of your emotional distress. You start to gain more insight, more understanding into what causes it and keeps it going.
You may also start to realise the degree to which this pattern is present not only in your life, but potentially also your parents and grandparents lives. You start to become aware how the systems you are part of, contribute, fuel or maintain your position.
Then, the therapy starts. (In my opinion).
Once the distress is settled enough for you to actually think and reflect on your experience, then you have the potential for growth. Then the potential for understanding the unconscious workings of your mind arises. The potential for understanding the multiple layers at which your particular patterns influence you. The potential for untangling things that got mushed together early in life; the potential for expansion into new ways of being. All of these things arise.
In my experience, this process is both daunting, freeing, terrifying and exhilarating in almost equal parts. In my experience, as you work through the fear, exhilaration becomes greater. More joy enters your life. Your life starts to feel more like your own. You begin to experience freedom. You want to shout from the roof-tops how incredible life is and that everyone should go to therapy!
You feel better.
It's wonderful.
And the journey continues.
I wanted to share this as I often get asked "How long will therapy take", and it really depends. Perhaps all you are seeking at present is the relief of distressing symptoms. Perhaps as you achieve that relief, you find yourself more curious about the origin of the symptoms and feel a desire to tackle the roots of the issue.
Therapy can be tailored to where you are at at present, and to what your needs are. Therapy can be adjusted as you go along. Making this part of the conversation is helpful not only in building the therapy that works for you, but also in understanding the motivations and pressures you experience, and how these influence you.
The therapy I offer is based around regular appointments, either weekly or fortnightly, as that is the minimum frequency which (in my experience) yields any meaningful change in peoples lives. Sometimes cirucumstances present real barriers, other times these barriers are part of your psychic structure keeping you stuck. These, and more, conversations become possible when we meet more regularly.
So if you've been thinking about reaching out to me or someone else for therapy, go for it. Let's start the conversation around what's possible, check in with your current capacity, and see where we can go.
Wishing you all the best on your journey.
Warmly,
Anna